Self-reflection.

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*Plug in my earpod to my ears and play my favourite song for the starting and let the playlist play by itself randomly. I'm imagining myself in a calm beautiful place while typing for my entry*

I was in a real bad depression before and felt like the world left me out just like I'm not even exist. That was the moment in my life that I could never imagined to happen and it did happen. I was speechless, blank, and hopeless. People always say that life is like a roller coaster there is an up and down in our lives but mine was like a roller coaster going off the tracks and straightly off to the deepest dungeon of the earth. I am afraid, terrified and all mixed up feelings. I can't even feel the beautiful days anymore as the only thing I can see was cloudy clouds and no more sun to brightens up my days. I'm afraid. Afraid of telling other people about my problems even to my parents. Apparently, in my whole life I've never told my parents about any of serious problems I had. About my friends, even though they are good to me but I cannot tell holistically about my problems, certainly I can but I don't want to burden them to think and feel what I feel and it is unfair for them. I'm just a fragile guy who doesn't deserve to attract people's attentions. I realise that, I need to wake up from this stupid dream and start working out and get rid off these thoughts. I sincerely pray to God whatever He has planned for me, I just hope that it will be good and makes me a better guy in the future who wholeheartedly worshipping Him and always take care of my prayers and be a good son to both of my parents and also a good brother for my brother and sisters. Amiin.

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