Indescribable Young Man

Time present and time past Are both perhaps present in time future And time future contained in time past If all time is eternally present All time is unredeemable What might have been is an abstraction Remaining a perpetual possibility Only in a world of speculation What might have been and what has been Point to one end, which is always present Footfalls echo in the memory Down the passage which we did not take Towards the door we never opened Into the rose-garden Lana Del Rey

*Plug in earpod and started playing songs* Life hasn’t been really good lately, but I’m human, I still need to live my life to the fullest. The existence of the person that we love the most is just a temporary for us in this world. Sooner or later they’ll go and leave us here in this place. On that moment, they have gone beyond betterment. I’ve started to realize many things in life, the consequences of what we’ll get in hereafter. It really creeps me out. It’s not that I’m unaware of this but something has opened my eyes to be extra careful doing whatever in life. The uneasy feeling really disturbs me. It’s like it haunting me and that just terrifying. Okay maybe, I’m too overthinking about this thing. I’ve just lost my granny last month; I was with her till her last breath, I cried my heart out seeing that moment, she really gone with peace, everything went really smooth and it was very easy for her to go. I thank God for that, that’s why I’ve started to think how it’s gonna...

Hari demi hari, aku mulai sedar yang bukan semua mampu ku letakkan seratus kepercayaanku sewenang-wenangnya. Sesungguhnya, yang Maha Esa juga yang cukup sempurna sifatNya. Aku seharusnya kuat untuk meneruskan kehidupan yang berliku-liku ini, jauh sekali untuk mengalah, kerana aku tahu, Allah sangat benci dengan orang yang sangat mudah mengalah. Ku ambil segala ujian ini sebagai cabaran untuk aku terus kuat.  Aku tahu, bukan mudah untuk berhadapan dengan mereka dalam masa yang panjang, tetapi perlu aku teruskan untuk menamatkan pengajian ini. Mungkin, nampak mudah untuk orang lain mengatakan yang aku boleh untuk berhadapan dengan semua masalah ini, tapi hanya aku tahu bagaimana perasaan ini terguris dan sedih diperlakukan seolah-oleh aku yang benar-benar salah.  Tidak mengapa, semua ini ada hikmah untuk diriku, mungkin aku terlalu banyak melakukan dosa dibumi Allah, sudah tiba masanya untuk aku mengubah diri ini agar menjadi yang lebih baik. Berhenti melakukan kemu...

The relationship has been built for so many years finally destroyed not more than 5 mins just because I'm being friends with other people. OMG, this is freaking ridiculous. I couldn't see anything that has strong potential of ruining the relationship but because of hatred this person would literally unfriend me. What has been going on to this world? I could never understand these types of people. So unpredictable yet childish as a freakin' obtuse. Of course, it saddens me seeing myself being doubt and put boundaries around me by other people. I knowwwww, I don't believe it myself, instead me putting boundaries with whom I want to be friend with, there are some people acting like they owned me. How ridiculous is that? Sometimes, when I care too much, it will eating me slowly and finally I'm just a leftover and underappreciated and the final place is in a disposal bag. I never knew being friendly would be this bad. Waittttt, no, it's not being friendly is bad bu...

When there were people putting a cross line of with whom I can be friend with and putting social networks as a benchmark whether I miss them or not and the sentence full of jealousy and I can't! If only suicidal is the best option but it isn't!